Advice

Creative Nonfiction
Ron Riekki


Photo Credit: Ashley Rose/Flickr (CC-by-nc-nd)

Photo Credit: Ashley Rose/Flickr (CC-by-nc-nd)

I want you to watch Buffalo ’66. I want you to read Sarah Kane. I want you to see Václav Havel’s Temptation. I want you to make out with people from every ethnicity on Earth. I want you to have a child if you want to have a child and I want you to have a child. I want you to read at least one of my poems; I promise they’re short. I want you to throw your guns in the garbage—or no, melt them into nothingness—and this includes your metaphorical guns. I want you to be brave and ask them out, especially if your hair’s a mess. I want you to understand how hot you are. I want you to wash your hands more frequently, because it really does help reduce how often you’ll get sick. I want you to be CPR certified. I want you to help somebody’s dream. I want you to write something that scares you. I want you to write black characters. I want you to write Native American characters. I want you to try to write in ways you never felt you could. I want you to learn a foreign language and live in a foreign country and make out for at least two hours with someone from that foreign country until you can walk away and still feel like you’re kissing them. I want you to wear condoms. I want you to find a center of peace in you. I want you to stop looking at your phone so often. I want you to tell your parents you love them more frequently, with real meaning to it, whether or not they’re around. I want you to forgive. I want you to volunteer at a prison. I want you to take an improv course. I want you walk more frequently. I want you to avoid any of those crazy diets that are meant to take your money and make you unhealthy. I want you to breathe when you start feeling any road rage. I want you to fasten your seatbelt. I want you to go to a concert and I want you to do it soon. I want you to take dance lessons at least once. I want you to watch Mitch Hedberg’s standup; I want you to realize he’d still be around if he didn’t do the stupid heroin. I want you to reduce the amount of porn you watch. I want you to understand that NASCAR is destroying the environment. I want you to cross-dress and I don’t care if it’s part of a comedy show as long as you do it. I want you to act. I want you to sing. I want you to be even sillier. I want you to memorize a quote from Speed Levitch in The Cruise. I want you learn how to juggle. I want you to thank a veteran. I want you write. I want you to write. I need you to write.

pencilRon Riekki has been published in Toasted Cheese, PANK, BluePrintReview, New Ohio Review, and several other journals. His book The Way North: Collected Upper Peninsula New Works (Wayne State University Press, 2013) is in its third printing. “Beautifully edited, The Way North is more than a collection. It is a collaboration of writers, each whom understands in his and her own way what is sacred about that utterly unique, fresh water peninsula known as the U.P.” —Stuart Dybek, author of The Coast of Chicago. Email: ronriekki[at]hotmail.com

My Ex-Girlfriend Wouldn’t Let Me Celebrate Halloween

Poetry
Ron Riekki


Bored
Photo Credit: Jason Carlin

Our love was apocryphal, apocalyptic, a pox upon thee,
epic, a pick of the week, optic, opulent, obvious,
inoperative, obfuscated, ophthalmological. I just
wanted to go see Dracula at the community college,
but she was battling Satan for our souls. I just
wanted sleep, but she was convinced there were
palindromes in the Qur’an. They all float each
in an orbit. And magnify your Master.
She read
the Onion and thought it was non-fiction. “Ten Years
Later, Cheney Haunted By People He Didn’t Manage
To Kill in Iraq War.”

pencil

Ron Riekki has been published in Toasted Cheese, PANK, BluePrintReview, New Ohio Review, and several other journals. His next book is The Way North: Collected Upper Peninsula New Works. “Beautifully edited, The Way North is more than a collection. It is a collaboration of writers, each whom understands in his and her own way what is sacred about that utterly unique, fresh water peninsula known as the U.P.” —Stuart Dybek, author of The Coast of Chicago. Email: ronriekki[at]hotmail.com

Why is it that All the Republicans I Know

Bonnets’s Pick
Ron Riekki


Do people really dress like that?
Photo Credit: Quinn Dombrowski

tell me
they grew up poor
but then when I see photos of them
when they were younger
you can tell
they were rich
as fuck
?

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Ron Riekki’s novel U.P. was published by Ghost Road Press. Gypsy Daughter Press publishes two of his upcoming poetry chapbooks—Leave Me Alone I’m Bleeding and Poems about Love, Death and Heavy Metal. Chicago’s Ruckus Theatre performs his play All Saints’ Day as part of their 2010-2011 season. He’s a fan of Fiona Apple, Rage Against the Machine, and the Detroit Pistons.